Thursday, October 06, 2005

True Friendship

Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that
always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true
friendship:

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot
revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is
choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every
chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories
about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you
are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why? You may ask.
Because you are my friend.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed
because you can only think of two and one of them isn't
speaking to you right now anyway.

Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good
friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need
to bring a shovel.